Funny Jokes >> Killing Jokes

    A Vacation to Jerusalem

    A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.The undertaker told the husband, 'You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury h

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    3 Hunters in the Woods

    There are 3 hunters in the woods, they're all telling each other what they're are going to shoot. The first one says he's going to get a buck. So he goes out and comes back with a buck. Then the other

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    Burn Victim

    Bill and Diane were in a terrible accident and Diane's face was severely burned.The doctor told Bill that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.So Bill offered to donat

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    Where is God

    A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would

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    Worthy of Heaven

    A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks."Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once,

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    Brain Transplant

    At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. Surveying the worried faces, the doctor said:

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    Mommy Almost Died

    Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as g

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    Horrific Accident

    A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch andwas applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.&ldq

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    Unfair Death Notice

    When the husband died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned andcomplained bi

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    The Gambler

    During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."The bartender said,

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