Funny Jokes >> Best Jokes

    Cancer?

    An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, “You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.”The old man, naturally, gets all nervous and asks, “What is it, Doc? Don't hold back -- just give it to me straight.”
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    Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.

    "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

    He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
     

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    Job Application Joke

    A jock and a geek applying for the same job.

    The boss said, “Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job.”

    So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose.

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    50th Birthday Jokes

    Top 10 Signs You're Over The Hill
    1、When you sleep, people worry you're dead.
    2、Your back goes out more than you do.
    3、Your best friend is dating someone half their age... and aren't breaking any laws.
    4、You wear black socks with sandals.
    5、When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
    6、It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Top 10 Signs You're Over The Hill

    Tags: 50th Birthday Jokes  best jokes  Funny Jokes  

    mum and dad

     there was a boy a mum and a dad the little boy asked if he could go in the bath with his mum his mum said ok babe so he said mum whats that his mum said thats my battlefield son he asked mum

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    Who’s the Most Fun to Operate On?

    Four surgeons were sitting around discussing whothey like to operate on.

    The first surgeon said, “I like operating onlibrarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”.

    The second surgeon said, “I like operatingon accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”.

    ...
    Tags: Who’s the Most Fun to Operate On  best jokes  Funny Jokes  

    Two zebras pondering

    Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
    stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
    know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
    ...

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    New Bowling Rules

    Supplemental Rules for Bowling

    If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

    ...

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    sports jokes

    A guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline.

    ...
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    Plane

    So, there are three guys.... Steven Harper, Micheal Anigtiff, and Jack Layton. Steven Harper says I bet you I can make one Canadaien happy by giving them $1000. Micheal Anigitiff says I bet you I can make two Canadiens happyu by giving them both $500 dollers. Jack Layton says. I bet you I can make 10 Canadiens happy by giving them all $100 Then the polite says, I bet you I can make a whole country happy. By throwing you three off this plane.

    ...
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