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You Might Be A Computer Nerd If...
- your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
- you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
- your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
- you want an 48X CDROM for Christmas
- Dilbert is your hero
- you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
- you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
- the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
- you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
- your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
You Might Be a Goth If...
- the Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
- the shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
- you and your boyfriend fight over who gets to wear the fangs
- you and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
- you are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
- you argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic outlook on life
- you buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
- you can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier,
- you fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000
- you go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
- you have seen "Nightmare before Christmas" more than seven times
- you like to play dead in public
- you own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
- you own even 1 Projekt c.d.
- you pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
- you refer to others as "The Normals"
- you refer to your age in mortal years
- you spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
- you think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
- you think of the hearse as a "family car"
- you wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black
- you wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
- you were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait
- your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way
- your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child
- your purse is large, square and metal
- you've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If...
- your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
- you have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
- your firehouse has wheels.
- you've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
- Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.
- you've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.
- at least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.
- your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
- you don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
- you've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
- your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
- your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
- your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
- dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.
- the local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
- your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
- you've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
- your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
- your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
- the only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.
分类: Clean Jokes
Tags: Clean Jokes Funny Jokes