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Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Oh, you're Crackers!
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ?
Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...
What's wrong with them ?
They keep slipping out from under my arms !
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish !
Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar
Well I can't believe that !
Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do ?
Saw the legs off of your bed !
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then !
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction !
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out !
Certainly, which way did you come in ?
Doctor, doctor, all I can think of is gin, gin, gin.
What you need is a tonic.
Doctor, doctor, are you sure this medicine will cure me?
Well, nobody's been back for a second bottle.
Doctor, doctor, as soon as I've said something, I forget it.
How long has this been going on?
How long has what been going on?
Doctor, doctor, every time I drink a cup of tea, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.
Try taking the spoon out of the cup first.
Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next patient, please!
Doctor, doctor, everyone thinks I'm a cricket ball
How's that?
Not you as well!
Doctor, doctor, I believe I'm a disc jockey.
Nonsense - you're just in a groove.
Doctor, doctor, I believe I'm a motor horn.
I don't give a hoot.
Doctor, doctor, I don't get enough exercise.
Try taking a long walk every evening.
That's the problem - I'm a lighthouse keeper.
Doctor, doctor, I find it difficult to tell the truth.
Don't worry. Once you get on the couch you'll find it very hard to lie on.
Doctor, doctor, I get the feeling people don't care about anything I say.
So . . .?
Doctor, doctor, I got run over by a steamroller.
So that's why you slid in under the door.
Doctor, doctor, I hate castor oil.
You don't expect me to swallow that!
Doctor, doctor, I have trouble getting to sleep at nights.
Lie on the edge of the bed - you'll soon drop off.
Doctor, doctor, I need something for my liver.
Here's a pound of onions.
Doctor, doctor, I'm allergic to liquorice.
Well, it takes allsorts to make a world.
Doctor, doctor, my friend thinks he's a lift.
Send him straight up.
I can't, he doesn't stop at your floor.
Doctor, doctor, nobody takes me seriously.
You're kidding.
Doctor, doctor, people keep saying I'm rude.
Why do you think that is?
How should I know, you blithering old fool!
Doctor, doctor, people take me for a beekeeper.
Sit over here, honey.
Doctor, doctor, people take me for a taxidermist.
Stuff and nonsense.
Doctor, doctor, people take me for Jimmy Savile.
I'll soon fix that!
Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
You're too tents.
Doctor, doctor, the Invisible Man is waiting outside.
Tell him I can't see him.
Doctor, doctor, this banana diet you put me on is having a strange effect.
Well, stop scratching and come down from the curtains.
Doctor, doctor, those strength pills you gave me don't work.
Why not?
I can't get the top off the bottle.
Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do you know ?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window !
Tell me straight Doc, Is it bad ?
Well, I wouldn't start watching any new soap operas !
分类: Clean Jokes