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Bat Vision

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night the bats made a bet to see who could drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home one night and has blood dripping off his fangs. The other two bats are amazed and asked how much blood he had drunk.

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night the bats made a bet to see who could drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home one night and has blood dripping off his fangs. The other two bats are amazed and asked how much blood he had drunk.

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Valentine’s Day Jokes

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!

 

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

 

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Free Fridge

Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:“Free to good home. You want it, you take it.”For t

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House on Fire

A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her ouside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then he goe

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Steven Wright

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading . . . And all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.Last night, I walked up

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Snooping

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't

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False Eye

False Eye A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!&quo

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Five Stages a Drunk

Five Stages a DrunkStage 1 - SMART This is when you instantly become an expert on everything known to mankind. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen

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Fast Reader

The parson had been disturbed by a person who was a fast reader. "We shall now read the Twenty-Third Psalm-- in unison."He paused."Will the lady who is always 'by the still waters' whil

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I'm Better Than You

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in a

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