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"As you know, they've already come out with a Sarah Palin action figure. And today, the Democrats released a Joe Biden action figure. It talks and talks and talks. You just can't get the thing to shut up." ~Jay Leno
"Today was Joe Biden's first full day as vice president. Yeah, advisors say Biden spent most of the day watering his hair." ~Conan O'Brien
"In a speech in Washington, D.C., Delaware Senator Joe Biden said although he wants to be president, he'd rather be at home making love to his wife. Which is ironic, because Bill Clinton said the same thing. He said he'd rather be home making love to Joe Biden's wife too."
"It's Vice President-elect Joe Biden's birthday today. And Barack Obama bought him 12 cupcakes for his birthday, which is a smart gift to give Biden because when his mouth is full of cupcakes he can't say anything stupid." ~Craig Ferguson
"Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Yeah, nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years." ~David Letterman
Dependable Sponsors?
The White House has asked Weatherproof Garment Co. to remove a billboard in Times Square that depicts President Obama wearing one of the company's jackets. In related news, the Vice President's office is seeking the removal of a billboard in DC that depicts Joe Biden wearing Depends.
A Chew Toy For The First Dog
Among those who will receive gifts from the Obamas this Christmas is Bo, the First Dog. The Obamas will give Bo a chew toy. Coincidentally, this is also the same present they will give Joe Biden.
Say It's Ain't So, Joe
Joe Biden said Sarah Palin has a lot of style and charisma, but no substance. He made the remark after looking at his notes from eight months ago and writing the name "Sarah Palin" over "Barack Obama."
分类: Dirty Jokes