Crazy Questions !

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !
Who invented fractions ?
Henry the 1/8 !
What does "Minimum" mean ?
A very small mother !
What does "Maximum" mean ?
A very big mother !
What's the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
What sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?
A kipper !
What's the nearest thing to silver ?
The Lone Ranger's bottom !
Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich ?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking !
What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole ?
A penguin !
What is a skeleton ?
Bones, with the person off !

What is "out of bounds" ?
An exhausted kangaroo !
What is the most slippery country in the world ?
Greece !
What might you eat in Paris ?
The trifle tower !
If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five ?
Nine !
Who was the best actor in the bible ?
Samson, he brought the house down !
What kind of fish can't swim ?
Dead ones !
What do golfers use in China ?
China tees !
What is the strongest bird ?
A crane !
What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea ?
It gets wet !
What do Scotsmen eat ?
Tart'n'pie ! What is posthumous work ?
Something written by someone after they are dead !
Why is Russia a very fast country ?
Because the people are always Russian !
What has two humps and is found at the North Pole ?
A lost camel !
Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ?
Because England was discovered before the USA !
What do elves do after school ?
Gnomework !
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get ?
Missile toe !
What is a polygon ?
A dead parrot !
If Ireland sank into the sea, what county wouldn't sink ?
Cork !
How do we know that the Earth won't come to an end ?
Because it's round !
What do you get if you cross a US President with a shark ?
Jaws Washington ! What is the quickest way to double your money ?
Fold it in half !
What is hail ?
Hard boiled rain !
What is Cheddar Gorge ?
A large cheese sandwich !
What language do they speak in Cuba ?
Cubic !
What is a myth ?
A female moth !
What is an archaeologist ?
Someone who's career is in ruins !
What is the noisiest game ?
Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet !
Why do birds fly south in the winter ?
Because it's too far to walk !
How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon ?
Just one if it's long enough !
What holds the sun up in the sky ?
Sunbeams ! What is a volcano ?
A mountain with hiccups !
What is the fruitiest lesson ?
History, because it's full of dates !
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep ?
A dinosnore !
How was the Roman Empire cut in half ?
With a pair of Caesars !
How do Welsh people eat cheese ?
Caerphilly !
Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth ?
Because it's tied !
Who was the Black Prince ?
The son of Old King Cole !
What has forty feet and sings ?
The school choir !
Who was the world's greatest thief ?
Atlas, because he held up the whole world !
Where do flies go in winter ?
To the glass foundry to be turned into bluebottles ! Where do hamsters come ?
Hampsterdam !
What is heavier, a full moon or a half moon ?
The full moon because it's lighter !
What town in England makes terrible sandwiches ?
Oldham !
What would you call theft in Peking ?
A Chinese takeaway !
Why do polar bears have fur coats ?
Because they would look silly in anoraks !
Why are goldfish red ?
The water turns them rusty !
Who invented fire ?
Some bright spark !
Where does success come before work ?
In the dictionary !
Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls ?
Because they couldn't spell their names !
What animals are on legal documents ?
Seals ! Where do tadpoles change ?
In a croakroom !
Why are astronauts successful people ?
Because they always go up in the world !
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
Because it has 4 A's and one B !
What is the best hand to write with ?
Neither - it's best to write with a pen !
What sort of animal is a slug ?
A snail with a housing problem !
Who invented underground tunnels ?
A mole !
What followed the dinosaur ?
It's tail !
How do we know that Joan of Arc was French ?
She was maid in France !
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ?
Sir Francis Brake !
What's an insect's favourite sport ?
Cricket !

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