Funny Jokes >> 2009 October

    Redneck Mom's Letter

    Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or girls so don???t know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.Love, Ma

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    Tags: racist jokes  

    Celebrity Jokes

    Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
    A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

    Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    A. One was the first to walk on the moon and the other fucks little boys up the ass.

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    Tags: Celebrity Jokes  Adult jokes  

    Horsey Ride

    That little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents i

    Tags: kids jokes  Funny Jokes  Little Johnny Jokes  

    Horsey Ride

    That little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents i

    Tags: kids jokes  Funny Jokes  Little Johnny Jokes  

    Mommy, Is God Black or White?

    One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says, “Mommy, is God Black or White?”She replies, “Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.”

    Tags: kids jokes  Funny Jokes  God  

    3 Kinds of Bras

    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'

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    Tags: Adult jokes  Funny Jokes  bras  

    3 Hunters in the Woods

    There are 3 hunters in the woods, they're all telling each other what they're are going to shoot. The first one says he's going to get a buck. So he goes out and comes back with a buck. Then the other

    Tags: Killing Jokes  Funny Jokes  

    3 Docs at heavans gate!

    Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked the first one why he should be let into heaven. The doctor said "Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work." The second doctor was a li

    Tags: Best Joke  Funny Jokes  

    Always on Duty

    A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders wereclear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on thewindshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.

    Tags: Funny Jokes  Clean Jokes  Military Jokes  

    A man lost his wife

    When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he’d lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. “We’re sorry to call on you at this

    Tags: Funny Jokes  funny puns  Adult jokes  
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